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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29700132">I did, I did, I do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyCourtney/pseuds/CourtneyCourtney'>CourtneyCourtney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wicked + The Divine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(yes it can be both), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/F, Femslash February, Future Fic, Marriage Proposal, Mild Language, Pre-Time Skip, Relationship Discussions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:30:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29700132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyCourtney/pseuds/CourtneyCourtney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts on a Sunday morning, before Cass has had even one fucking sip of coffee. Apparently Laura fucking Wilson still has a death wish.</p><p>(or, Cassandra, Laura, and an evolving discussion of marriage)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cassandra Igarashi | Urdr/Laura Wilson | Persephone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I did, I did, I do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I shipped Cassandra/Laura since <i>Fandemonium</i> but resigned myself to Laura/Lucifer being endgame. I wouldn't have hated it; it just wasn't my preferred couple. Then we got Issue #45, and I got punched in the fucking throat. WIIIIIIIIIVES! That said, I have questions about how they ended up married. A long-term committed relationship, I get, but the Institution of Marriage doesn't make sense to me with where their characters were at pre-time skip? So. I'm here to figure it out.</p><p>Title from the greatest poem ever, Annalyse Gelman's "The Pillowcase"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts on a Sunday, before Cass has had even one fucking sip of coffee. Apparently Laura fucking Wilson still has a death wish.</p><p>It had been a morning like any other when she got up. It was disgustingly, perfectly sunny outside. Laura had been in the kitchen already when Cassandra dragged herself into some form of wakefulness and out of their bedroom. Her girlfriend had handed her a mug of coffee, and Cass had kissed on her on the cheek on her way to sit at the table.</p><p>The flat they’ve been renting is fine, Cass thinks, but the kitchen and dining space is cramped. There’s a half-formed thought in the back of her brain about finding another place together, a real home. No picket fences or primroses or shit, but someplace that fits both of them, someplace they can both grow in.</p><p>“Have you ever thought about getting married?” Laura asks without preamble.</p><p>Cass stops with the mug of coffee halfway to her lips. She sets it back down on the table, still full.</p><p>“Why?” she asks, wondering what brought this on.</p><p>Laura shrugs, sunlight streaming in through the window behind her. “I was just wondering.”</p><p>“Uh-huh,” says Cassandra, picking her mug back up. “Bullshit.”</p><p>Laura’s answering smile is a holy thing. It’s kind and knowing and the tiniest bit terrifying. She keeps waiting for Cass’s answer. There’s a light in her eyes, a lightness to the moment, and Cassandra knows what she says next will break it.</p><p>“No,” Cassandra says. “I’ve never thought about it. Ever.”</p><p>“Never,” Laura repeats, no judgement in her tone. “Not even as a kid?”</p><p>“Nope,” says Cass, finally taking a drink. “I had other shit to be figuring out, and by the time I got there, got into romance, the last thing I wanted was the government getting any kind of involved in who I shared my parts with and who I shared my home with. The relationship between me and my partners is important enough without a piece of paper.”</p><p>Laura cocks her head to the side, still smiling though not as bright as before. “That’s fair.”</p><p>“Why?” Cassandra asks. “Do you…”</p><p>Laura shrugs again, and Cass wants to tear her own hair out. Wilson needs to use her damn words if she wants something.</p><p>Cassandra fights down the part of her trying to shift from Girlfriend Mode into Journalist Mode. Much as it sometimes sucks, being a good partner is about patience. It isn’t about jumping to conclusions or interrogating the other person. It’s easier than usual this morning, probably because she isn’t sufficiently caffeinated.</p><p>Laura is within her rights to ask questions. Theirs is a relationship with nothing to hide, not after everything they’ve been through together in the past decade-plus. They’ve been through so much together, first as friends and eventually as partners. They know how to communicate better; they’ve got fucking gold stars across the board when it comes to talking about their issues now.</p><p>… And <em>yet</em>. That’s <em>such </em>a loaded question, Cassandra thinks. How can Laura ask that question and <em>not</em> have an ulterior motive? How can Cassandra <em>not </em>be skeptical and want to pick at that loose thread?</p><p>Cassandra clears her throat. “Laura, do you…” She frowns, trying to find a way to phrase it that isn’t an out-and-out proposal. “Do you want to talk about getting married?”</p><p>“Not right now, I guess,” Laura says.</p><p>Cass raises her eyebrows. “You <em>guess</em>.”</p><p>Laura huffs. “Cass, it was just a question. It just popped into my brain, and I thought I would ask. We can talk about it some other time, maybe definitely when you’re more awake.” She gives Cassandra’s mug of coffee a pointed look.</p><p>“We…” There’s another question on the tip of Cassandra’s tongue. <em>We can talk about it later? </em>she wants to ask. What more is there to talk about it? Cass wouldn’t have brought up marriage in the first place, and she isn’t sure she would want to bring it up again if Laura had said “no” if <em>she</em> asked. Laura must be driving at something.</p><p>She drops it, though. Cassandra thinks maybe she’s finally learning how to pick her battles after all these years. Maybe that’s just what love does to you. It makes her feel old.</p><p>Cassandra leaves well enough alone for the day. She and Laura go out for a walk. They buy groceries in the afternoon. Cassandra hacks away at a finance report, replies to emails from Jon and Aruna, and then picks at her outline for the <em>EHR.</em> It doesn’t bother her. She isn’t going to let it bother her. She’s going to forget all about that unfinished conversation. She’s going to leave well enough alone until Laura decides she wants to try it again.</p><p>Laura doesn’t bring it up again. Not that night, and not the next day, or the day after that.</p><p><em>“Have you ever thought about getting married?”</em> is a dull ache in the back of Cassandra’s brain for the rest of the week, though.</p><p>Maybe Laura is more traditional than Cassandra had her pegged for. She barely remembers the Wilsons, but she knows how badly Laura misses her parents, how despairing Laura had been when they died. They were good people, good role models. Cass isn’t sure how to touch on that without making it sound like Laura has unresolved mummy and daddy issues, though, so that’s off the table as a talking point.</p><p>Or maybe it’s fear-based, Cass thinks. Wanting to get married and settled could be about financial security. It could be about wanting to make sure she can visit Cass in the hospital if anything were to happen while they’re together. That’s pragmatic in a way Cassandra appreciates but also isn’t sure how to deal with. It’s a good argument, but is it the argument to be having when they’re discussing marriage? Then again, marriage really is a business contract.</p><p>Cassandra wonders if Laura ever brought up marriage with Eleanor. The thought of it makes her laugh. God, she knows more about Laura and Eleanor’s relationship and subsequent breakup than she would have ever liked to know. Then again, Laura was her best friend. It was worth it just to be there for her, just to show she cared (much as Eleanor annoyed her).</p><p>Maybe Laura was fishing for a proposal, Cass thinks, and something in the pit of her stomach drops. Or worse – what if Laura was going to propose to <em>her?</em> What if that was her testing the waters, and Cassandra had just dropped an anchor on her head? Then again, Cassandra had said no, and Laura hadn’t gotten pissy or immediately broken up with her. Marriage isn’t the end all and be all of whatever Laura’s really asking here.</p><p>Still, just to be safe, Cassandra checks all the drawers in their bedroom and every nook and cranny of their apartment while Laura is out with Zahid on Thursday night. She doesn’t find a ring anywhere, which should be a relief. Somehow it leaves her feeling even more on edge.</p><p>By Saturday morning, Cassandra accepts that she is acting unhinged about this <em>and</em> that she’s gonna have to bite the bullet and bring the prospect of marriage up herself. She can’t <em>not </em>investigate. She can’t <em>not </em>pull the thread. Laura will understand.</p><p>“You weren’t planning on proposing to me, were you?” Cassandra asks midway through dinner Saturday night. They're out at some Italian place Laura had been not-so-subtly hinting they should check out for the past month. It's kind of cute, not very fancy but not a total dive either.</p><p>Laura chokes a bit on the sip of water she had been taking, but she pulls through.</p><p>“What?” says Laura, and then before Cassandra can reply – “No, I wasn’t. Why would you think – “</p><p>“You brought up marriage the other morning,” Cass points out. “We’ve never talked about getting married before.”</p><p>Laura nods once. She nods a second time, then sets down her glass. “Right,” she says. “Well…” She glances down at her hands, picks up her fork, then sets it back down again. “That was me bringing it up.”</p><p>“Huh,” says Cassandra. It's not as scary to hear Laura admit it as she'd feared.  “So you’ve thought about it? Just in general?”</p><p>“In general, yeah,” Laura replies. She meets Cassandra’s gaze again, back on solid ground. "When I was a kid, growing up with the parents I had, I figured marriage was just the thing to be done. I saw them working to maintain a relationship every day. It made sense. And then when I was older and fooling around, well..." Laura gestures at Cassandra. "You saw."</p><p>Cass snorts. "I saw a lot of you, yeah."</p><p>"Yeah," Laura agrees. "But there was still some part of me that wanted... stability, I guess? No matter how much I rebelled or destroyed or said I didn't care, part of me still wanted somebody to come home to at the end of the day. Whether that was Valentine or Ruth, or even Cameron sometimes… And I think about my parents a lot these days."</p><p>Cassandra reaches across the table to take Laura's hand, to lace their fingers together. "I know."</p><p>Laura squeezes her hand. Her smile is sad, but it's still a smile. "So I guess I've been thinking about how much of what I want is based on what they had.”</p><p>“And is this you also bringing up the possibility of having kids?” Cassandra asks hesitantly.</p><p>“Oh god no,” Laura replies, and Cassandra relaxes.</p><p>“But you do want to get married,” Cassandra says. “Or you might want to.”</p><p>“Not right now, yeah,” Laura confirms. “But maybe. It’s a possibility, if that’s… If that’s something you’d thought about. This isn’t me saying, ‘I want to get married more than I want to be with you.’</p><p>“Why?” asks Cassandra. “To getting married, I mean. Not to being with me. Is it a commitment thing? Are you worried something’s going to happen between us?”</p><p>Laura looks down at their hands, then turns her wrist so their fingers are still interlaced but her hand is on top.</p><p>"I love you," Laura says, a slow-growing grin gracing her lips. "A stupid amount. I think about the future, and I can’t picture it without you there next to me every morning and every night. I want everything with you, no room for doubt. And maybe that sounds possessive or like I don’t trust you. I just… I know what I want. And it’s everything the world will allow. It’s everything you’re willing to give me.”</p><p>Cassandra smiles despite herself. “You always do love testing my limits, don’t you?”</p><p>Laura shrugs and squeezes her hand again. “Maybe I think your limits are a little <em>too </em>limiting.”</p><p>Cass sits with that for a minute. She appreciates the warmth and weight of Laura’s hand on hers before he slowly pulls her hand out from under. “Laura, you say this now, but – ”</p><p>“Oh no,” Laura interrupts. She doesn’t look upset; she looks knowing.</p><p>“ ‘Oh no’ what?” Cassandra asks.</p><p>“You’re doing this again,” Laura says with a sigh. She picks her fork back up like she’d be content to go back to dinner, like this isn’t yet a-fucking-nother thread she knows Cassandra will have to pull on.</p><p>“Doing <em>what</em> again?” Cass repeats. “Just <em>tell</em> me.”</p><p>Laura scrunches her face up at her. “You’re thinking too much about the past, Cass. You’re thinking I’m still young and dumb and trying to die. I’ve been to hell. I’ve also come back. A few times, actually.” She sets her fork back down. “I’m old now, Cass. We both are. I know what we went through with the Pantheon was a lot, and it changed us so much. But we changed a lot after that, too. Why can’t you see the person I am right now instead of the girl you’re scared I still am?”</p><p>Cassandra looks at her girlfriend then, really looks at Laura fucking Wilson. Cass has seen her burnt out beyond apathy, burnt out to the point of self-destruction. Cass has seen her taunt someone waving a gun in her face. Cass has seen Laura at rock bottom. She sat with Persephone in hell, in that stupid fucking cage with Jon Blake, and watched her cry. To see Laura trying now is… well, fuck, it’s miraculous. She’s gotten so much better over the past few years. She has <em>laugh lines </em>now. She <em>is </em>old. She’s grown so much as a person, and Cass has seen it all. She’s been with Laura almost every step of the way, but still, Cassandra is impressed. Cass wants to be with her every step of the way forward, too.</p><p>Cass clears her throat. “And if I said 'yes' to getting married?” she asks.</p><p>Laura lights up, her eyes shining with hope. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Cassandra agrees, something soft and bright blooming in her chest. Then, because she can’t resist teasing her, she adds, “Come on, Wilson. You’re a lot quicker on the uptake than this usually.”</p><p>“Fine,” says Laura. “Then I’m unproposing.”</p><p>Cass snorts. “You can’t do that.”</p><p>“Yes, I can,” says Laura. “It’s my proposal. Or not proposal. You’ll have to wait until I’m ready to try again now.” She looks down at her plate, a grin spreading across her face as she pokes at the chicken marsala again. Laura looks back up at her after a minute.</p><p>“Promise me you’ll act surprised, though. Okay?” she asks.</p><p>“Okay,” Cassandra replies, smiling back.</p>
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